Wednesday, September 30, 2015

#microstory "Litigation has its vagaries" (part 1)

"Donnie" aka Henry Hogan didn't understand how he had been discovered.  I thought I was anonymous, he thought.  Henry's understanding of the Internet was somewhat rudimentary, however, for he failed to recognize no one is ever anonymous.

William McAngus agreed to represent Henry for an initial retainer of $10,000.00.  "It won't be cheap, but you created a record, Henry, and those words are difficult to overcome."

"Yeah, but I was just joking."

"Doesn't matter.  Man you insulted was in the advertising business.  He can directly trace his drop in business to your words.  You words cost him $250,000 in sales."

Henry's stomach went into his cheap dress shoes.  His J.C. Penny shirt felt tight around his neck.  So did his Gant tie.  "What will we do then?"  The bald patch on the back of his head felt hot, and his thick glasses fogged up with nervous sweat. 

"Retain an expert for $5,000.00 and crap all over his numbers.  Hopefully we can get him down to $80,000.00 or so paid out over 3-4 years."

#microstory "Luigi Vampa Lives"

"You can't be real.  I made you up," said Dan Stupinski.

"I assure you that I am very real," said Luigi Vampa, no longer fictional.  "And I appreciate all of the money even if it is stolen.  Likewise, I appreciate your creating my identity as the person to own such wealth.  Really, very generous."

Enraged, Dan responded, "I deserve the millions; they are mine, asshole.  Those people were dumb enough to let me have it.  I played basketball at Moravia University, and I coached their no talent kids in basketball.  I'm entitled."

Luigi Vampa laughed.  "Dan, Dan, I am not angry with you.  But for your greed I wouldn't exist, at least not in my current form."

"I must be dreaming," said Dan nervously.

"I assure you, you are not, but I need to tie up some loose ends now.  And you, Dan, are a lose end."

Luigi Vampa killed Dan, and he carried his body on a yacht bought by Dan's ill-gotten gains--now Luigi Vampa's gains--and dumped him 80 miles off the Georgia coast.  "Thanks again, Dan, I owe it all to you.  Who says their's no sympathy for the Devil?"

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

#microstory "Words aren't just words"

"Donnie" never used his real name when he commented on blogs and websites.  He had his reasons, but the main reason was fear.  Sometimes saying the wrong thing could be legally actionable.  If you you said the wrong thing to a wired and ready person, then the consequences could be dire.

Better to labor under the protective shroud of anonymity, thought Donnie (incorrectly).

One day the a sheriff's deputy showed up at "Donnie's" house and slapped him with a lawsuit.

"No such things as anonymous comments, 'Donnie.'"

#microstory "Sleepwalking"

The cool air on his skin woke him up, but he didn't know where he was.  Until he realized he was standing in the middle of a two lane road with cars whizzing past.  Apparently he was sleepwalking again.  If this continued, one day he wouldn't awaken from it.

#haiku "Fallen Tree"

Fallen tree struck down 
Wind and fate bite hard each day
Nature uproots all 

#ZenDoodle

Monday, September 28, 2015

#AdmiralAckbar #StarWars #ForceAwakens

#haiku "Ewoks get too much hate" #starwars #forceawakens

Ewoks are quite fine.
Ewoks get too much hate, yes.
Star Wars can be cute.


#microstory "The Toad Avoids Death"

The toad enjoyed the recent days, cool (but not too cool) and wet, although at night it got a little too chilly.  Toad needed a warmer place to sleep.  He noticed a place would open up when it was light and again when it was dark.  Otherwise it stayed shut.

One night, when the place opened up in the dark, he hopped towards it.  He heard a vroooshhh!  He glanced up and saw a loud thing move over him.  Then something tall got out of the loud thing and walked towards him.  It made noise, but it sounded friendly.  Toad wasn't taking any chances though, and he hopped off.  He would wait for another day.

#microstory "I am Vishnu"

Dave wrote things, and many of the things he wrote about happened after he penned his stories.  Yet he kept writing because he wasn't God or a god.  In rational world, you couldn't dictate the lives of others merely by writing about them.  Or could you?  If you could, should you stop?

#haiku "Rain"

Rain is always wet.
But it doesn't wash away.
Roots are deeper still.

#VA CLE #veterans

We owe a lot to them.

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

#microstory "Anon's blues"

Anon used "Anon" so much that he couldn't remember his own name.  He rarely went outside, and he spent his days arguing with people he would never meet and would never know his true identity.  It was obvious who Anon was though.

Why was this?  Because Anon was a coward.


#thereinsquatsthetoad

#FinancialPathways annual luncheon

Nice hearing Sharon Randall speak.

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

#microstory "Homelessness isn't a crime"

"I'm just standing here," said the homeless man.

"You aren't supposed to loiter," said the police officer.  The cop had close cropped hair and a barrel chest.  Overcompensation fueled those muscles.

"What about those punk white kids?"

The cop looked over.  "They are students and can't be loitering over there.  Legal impossibility."  The cop arrested the homeless man for loitering.

On the way home, the cop got a text from the PI who was following his girlfriend.  "She's doing the QB from the local college."

The cop seethed with rage.  He went to his girlfriend's house that night.  Thinking he was a burglar, she shot him to death with the gun the cop got her for protection.

The DA didn't file charges because the girlfriend was a Senator's daughter, and the cop had a history of domestic violence.  Asshole, Mark Furman-type deserved it.

#FightClub 2 new issue

Because it is incredible.

Monday, September 21, 2015

#microstory "the Nazi"

Fredrick thought he could hide in the South because of the antisemtisn, but it didn't last forever.  A neighborhood kid sneaked into his house one day and found a bunch of Nazi paraphanelia.

A few days later the FBI showed up.

"Mr. Drum, were you ever a member of the Nazi party?"

"Yes."  

The media later revealed Drum was the grandfather of Ronald Drum, who was trying to secure the Republican nomination.  Drum failed to mention his grandfather had been and perhaps still was a Nazi.

Saturday, September 19, 2015

#micropoetry "Infinite being"

I am part of an infinite
evolving puzzle of being.
Unrestrained and 
drifting towards the future.

Friday, September 18, 2015

#microstory "Purity Ball"

Braden Saber believed in keeping his teenager daughter chaste till marriage.  So he signed her up for the "Purity Ball."

Chastity didn't want to go.  "Daddy, it is stupid!  A bunch of sickos go to those things!"  Braden slapped Chastity to the floor, and, her mother, Madison, rushed in.  "Oh Braden, why did you do that?"

Braden stormed off to his basement lair where he proceeded to watch porn.  He bought his porn from the same guy Jared, the former Subway spokesmen, bought his porn from.  Braden met Jared at a Christian leadership conference.

The night of the ball Chastity came down the stairs in her gleaming white dress.  Braden and Madison wept with pride.  "You will always be my pure little girl," said Braden, his cheeks tearstained.

The ball went well.  Fathers kissed their daughters on the lips and talked about purity and the need to guard your chastity.  During one of the speeches, Chastity got up to use the restroom.

Chastity was gone for a while.  Braden became worried and got up to look for Chastity.  He heard a faint moaning down the hall, and he walked towards it.  He glanced in one of the classrooms, and he saw Chastity having sex with the father who organized the ball.

Braden rushed in the room ready for battle.  "Daddy, don't!  I love him.  We've been together since I was 13.  He's going to marry me when I turn 18 next year," yelled Chastity.

Thursday, September 17, 2015

#micropoetry "Born Into"

Three preppy men 
walked into a restaurant.
Two tall and one short.
All wore the same thing 
and possessed smug self 
assurance.
These Croakie-clad douches.

One man staggered down 
the street.
He appeared mentally ill 
and homeless.

The main difference between 
this man and the other three 
is likely where he was born.
Yet the preppy douches think it is merit 
so they are conservatives.

#Nature eventually wins

#microstory "The Tractor"

"Why do you hate farmers and people who drive trucks?" said Karla.  She was mad about a Facebook post where someone had the audacity to question the safety of Farmer Brown driving down the highway with a large tractor.  She made the incorrect inference the poster hated farmers and people who drove trucks.  She trolled the person on social media for weeks after.

Karla had worked for six doctor's offices as an office manager.  She tried to get better jobs at other offices, always asking for more money than she was worth.  And she wasn't happy in her current job.

One day she was driving home from work, and she decided to take the highway to avoid the stoplights in town; she had a hot date, which occurred less frequently now because her looks (which were always a little above average) were fading.

It was dark.  Out of no where a tractor pulled out and hit her, causing her car to veer off and hit a tree. She died instantly.

"Tractors should keep off the highways," said the state trooper to the TV news reporter.  "It just isn't safe."

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

#micropoetry "Form is Fickle"

Form is overrated.
I abhor form because it
is fickle.
Stark reality is
better than the ideal.
Reality doesn't have
a precise, pretty cadence.
It is tripping and smashing
your face against sludge covered concrete.
But there is beauty in honesty.

#microstory "The Fall"

His belly was so big he couldn't see his feet.  As a result, he tripped over a hammer left by a workmen.  He banged his head on a metal table.  No one was there to help him because everyone was out of town.  Circumstances aren't favorable sometimes.

#microstory "The Clock"

Los Doltos, New Mexico recently passed anti-Sharia local ordinances.  They also passed ordinances allowing elementary school kids to carry firearms to school.

Mohammed brought a clock he built to school.  His teacher, Emily Easylay, panicked, and she said, "It's a bomb! It's a bomb!"

It wasn't a bomb.  Nonetheless, Principal Billy Joe Simpleton suspended him for a week.  "We can't have clocks in schools," he said.

On that same day, Principal Simpleton was walking to his car when one of the kids walked up and shot him in the head five times.  Simpleton died instantly.

The local news interviewed City Councilmen Billy Ray Dumbass, and he said, "We got to support our right to bear arms!  We got to be defended against these Muslims!"

Support #Science #IStandWithAhmed

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

#carwreck on #I40

#microstory "The Ice"

Henry's neighbor didn't like him, and the feeling was mutual.  One day in February the ice froze over on Henry's sidewalk.  On that same day, neighbor had a party with a bunch of rednecks across the street.

Henry decided to put up a no trespassing sign.  Then he walked outside and yelled, "Hey guys.  How many of you completed the 9th grade?"  Most laughed, but one of them yelled, "Screw you asshole."

"I don't see how you could screw anything given your case of 'dun-lap' syndrome."

The many ran forward cursing.  "You son-of-a-bit---"  The man slipped and fell back, smashing his head on a rock.  Henry turned around and walked back inside.

"Where are you going?"

"Inside.  Sign says no trespassing."


#poetry "Unique and prosaic"

You are unique
and you are bland.
There is nothing remarkable
about you.
Yet no one has ever
been like you though.

We are mundane
and remarkable
all at the same time.

It is comforting to be
special and prosaic
all at once.

Duality helps balance
the universe.
North and south.
East and west.
Hot and cold.
All are opposites
yet they define each other.
Just as our likeness and
dazzling differences
define us.
One against the other
yet working together
in a symbiotic relationship.

UPDATE: Backers of CenterPoint Human Services ask Forsyth County Board for $1.5 million - Winston-Salem Journal: Local News

UPDATE: Backers of CenterPoint Human Services ask Forsyth County Board for $1.5 million - Winston-Salem Journal: Local News.  Anyone who knows anything about health care realizes our state government's refusal to take federal Medicaid money would hurt mental health services.  It certainly has, and now the county needs to make up the shortfall.  Center Point is very well managed, and it provides much needed services for our community.  It was a privilege to be on its board for two years.

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

#micropoetry "Website Down"

Website down
waiting on story to publish.
It is worse expecting something you wrote
to publish
and then having to wait
because of technical difficulties.

Writing is difficult
but the gauntlet that is
the publishing word
is tougher.

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

#micropoetry "Mystic Miasma of Memory"

His hair hung like the  dingy lampshade fringe
from a 1940's brothel.
A cracked tooth slanted down like
the flag for a diver under water.
Once again emerged from
the mystic miasma of memory.
Until he sinks back down
a greased watermelon in a
dirty pool.

#ZenDoodle